Finally a Dress for Nursing Mom's: A Look at Harper and Bay

I found out about this fabulous Kickstarter campaign, Harper & Bay, offering stylish and convenient breastfeeding dresses. The idea is to eliminate stretched collars, wrinkled blouses or undressing to nurse your baby. Finally someone who designs nursing dresses for "stylish moms", although this feels like an oxymoron as I look at my sunflower butter, yogurt and spit up stained sleeves. Harper & Bay, clearly I need your help!

I heard about this campaign first via Instagram and a few bloggers who posted about it here and there but it was quite hush-hush. I am so grateful someone with fashion where-with-all is taking this on. There are other brands who make nursing wear but honestly nothing is this functionally designed or fashionable. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to my closet and looked for something to wear to a non-workout attire event, only realizing I'll need to easily nurse or pump in the outfit or bring a change of clothes, coordinate a place to change etc. What a pain this can be and I know I'm not alone.

Here is a short video from Taisja Maxfield discussing the line and inspiration behind it. She discusses hating to spend all kinds of money on clothes she would only wear for such a short time - girlfriend, you hit the nail on the head, those are my thoughts exactly. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of lines with nursing friendly attire but none quite as stylish, functional, classic, on trend, or reasonably priced. 

PS isn't she adorable? There are a few spots left in the campaign and dresses are currently priced anywhere from $70-$90 depending on which option you choose. Dresses are set to retail for approximately $98 a piece.

Below are the options...

(Photo: Kickstarter/Harper & Bay)

I ordered the raglan sleeve floral print pictured below. (Photo: Kickstarter/Harper & Bay)

I am considering ordering the mid-point exclusive color release which is the black-white stripe sleeve raglan dress. So on point right?

So thank you to the Harper and Bay creator Taisja Maxfield who is going to make this season of life a little easier and more fashionable for all of us. I can't wait to receive my dress in December!

Dear C - 4+ Months With You

Dear C,

We have been getting to know you for about 4.5 months now and about two weeks ago you really started to share more of your personality with us. 

Mostly you are easy going and smiley, you don't choose to have a lot to complain about. When you are upset it's usually a gas bubble that's quickly resolved with a couple of your swift kicks or some solid toot filled tummy-time.  Even if you are over tired and waiting for a nap you have the ability to be calm and patient while Daddy and LB give you 37 one last kiss. 

Naps and nights have been uncharacteristic of you but very standard of a four month old. About a week before 4 months things started getting out of whack and you would play for 40min of your nap.  Oddly you always wake up after 2hours and 58min in your crib. On the dot. Although in the past 2 or 3 days your morning nap has turned in to about 20min of wind down/fussing and exactly 40min of sleep. 

You are as smiley as ever. You love the song my girl and like touching daddy's beard. You cannot help but watch your brother, his every move is interesting to you. I've set you down on a blanket with a few toys scattered and you forget playing with toys you watch your brother run about. Building with blocks, knocking them down, shooting hoops and playing with his animals. It doesn't really matter what he's doing you're in to it.

About a week shy of the 5 month mark you've become ticklish! It's not a constant but most of the time I can get you really giggling. You also love to grab my face, my cheeks and nose are a favorite.

You still seem sensitive to dairy but I can have milk almost daily in coffee, just not any cheese. That seems to skip the scale giving you gas and runny poops.

We love you so much little girl and can't wait to see what the next months bring. Soon I will go back to work during the day and you'll be in day care with the fabulous Mimi. Know my heart is with you though, by your side is the place your dad and I will always most want to be. 

Love you always,

Mama

Real Talk: A Taste of Life Mothering a Newborn and a Toddler

Written 7/2/15...

Ok real talk. I am getting a taste of what life is going to be like for now as I get used to having a newborn and a toddler. This morning I ate LB's chewed on toast crusts and pineapple soaked eggs for breakfast.  

I begin the one handed breakfast clean-up then sort and start a load of laundry while entertaining LB and holding C. The morning flies by with a series of toddler games, close calls of baby squishes and finally it's 12:30, M's nap time.

I organize the never shrinking laundry pile, I don't think I have any clean clothes left because they're either covered in milk, mashed food, or baby vomit. My bra size is currently a G and still doesn't fit right, I contemplate as a see the double boob in my reflection and give up because I don't even know where to get something that might fit properly.

Then I have a shower at 2pm because there is a golden 5 minutes where both kids are asleep. I eat lunch at 4:30 which consists of nearly a full box of TJs cookies. I actually manage a reasonable dinner because I miraculously planned before this weeks grocery trip and LB skips a bath because today I'm doing bedtime on my own. While putting C to bed I ate the rest of the TJs cookies :/ .

I am a list maker, an organizer and generally keep myself well presented but that is no longer in season. Bring on the sporadic bathing routines, living in stretchy clothes, milk soaked bras, and stuff upon stuff all over the house.

Who cares when this is your view, it's all about perspective.

Bair-isms: 25-26 Months

While C is crying, LB is pretending to hammer and saw around her...

Me: What are you doing?

LB: Fixing her, I'm her big brother <3 <3 <3

As he carries and lines up pieces of Styrofoam from the box his bed was packed in...

Me: What are you doing?

LB: Building my bed

Once the bed is "built" as he's rolling around on the Styrofoam planks... 

LB: Oh Mama this bed is so comfortable, I love my new bed!

LB: Mama, I'm going to my wedding...you can come

Me: Who are you marrying?

LB: Umm, I don't know but Michael, John, Wendy, Peter, and Tink are coming

It felt as though my heart fell out of my chest when I hard this, I can't imagine what it will feel like when he says this for real!

Our Little Bair: Week 9

Today the Bair had his two month well baby check up. Poor guy had a couple shots and ended up with a little bit of a fever. I pretty much refuse to use the tush thermometer so I appreciated the pediatrician telling me we could use a normal thermometer under his arm and add two degrees. Of course if you are close or over the 101.3 cut off for calling the doctor you have to brace yourself (and baby) for the real deal or just take them in. Our ped also told me you can tell how intense the fever is if you're nursing, when it starts to get in the 100s you can feel baby's mouth get hot.  What a wealth of knowledge this lady is :)

He slept a good 5 hours post shots, almost straight through with only a little fussing in between after which he fell back to sleep on his own.  This is a ton for our baby that does.not.nap during the day.

Side-note, if someone told me this was a possibility I would have planned to be super productive.  We'll see what happens at the 4 month check-up. He's slightly a daytime insomniac and only sleeps in small 20-30min spurts, just doesn't want to miss a thing I guess? My mom always says he reminds her of someone ;) .  He sleeps like a champ at night so I am okay with however he wants to get the sleeping in. 

Our Bair is really starting to "wake-up" and notice other people and especially babys.  I can see him processing and wanting to interact but I know it's nothing like what we'll see him doing in another few months. 

When he sees other babies he will look at them and stare for a moment but doesn't reach out to play yet. Still just taking it all in.

That's it for this week!

A Letter to My Son...Written 5.15.15

Written 5.15.15...

Dear Mason,

As I sit here on the eve of your sisters birth I want to write you a letter so you always know just how much you mean to me. I am afraid this new adjustment will rock your world but I know as with everything else, your strong soul can handle it. Having a sibling will be more than worth it for you, a constant playmate, confidant, and friend. While we never wanted you to be our only child, I want you to always know how much I love you you, not because you were our first but because of the incredible person you are and the pure joy, many lessons, and constant comedic relief you bring to our lives.

You are only 2 but you are already the most incredible person...I admire your thirst for knowledge, always asking about "that sound?" or "what's that?", "how come", and "some?" when it comes to food. You are always up to try something new and like to digest new situations before diving in. You are so observant! Watching how others do things for a few minutes and then off you go to give it a try. I hope you always keep this adventurous, no-shame attitude where you don't worry about what others think and aren't too shy to give something new a go.

You are so fun-loving, always saying "that's funny!", "I'm funny!", or "this is/was fun!".  You soak up knowledge like a sponge with your seemingly photographic memory and it amazes people how quickly you pick up words, phrases, even short sentences. You love to read, run and eat. 

For as much as your as sweet and fun you are also persistent and stubborn, when you want something it's pretty much Mason's way or an epic tantrum but you can be reasoned and bartered with and somehow even at a year old you could be reasoned with. We always give it to you straight, since day one. We vowed not to lie to you or sugar coat things.  When people have, the expression on your face tells me you see right through it and you tend not to spend time with that person.  When we explain things to you in adult words you somehow understand that you can't eat 39 strawberries in a sitting because you have to save room for other foods too. You even comprehend that too many of a particular fruit will give you diaper rash ("owies on your tushy") and are quick to remind us of that.

You and I have always had a special bond, even before you were born we were a team. You knew me right away and we had the sweetest relationship, you rarely cried if mama was around and it was easy to console you with milk.  I swear up until you were 4-5 months old I could will you back to sleep with my mind when sitting in a separate room. You would wake and knowing you weren't hungry or needing me I would put my hand on my stomach to connect with you and talk or sing you back to sleep. I swear I was connected with you. As that constant and unexplainable piece of our connection faded we developed an even stronger worldly one. I put you to sleep for nearly every nap for 10 months of your life and nearly every bed time for 15 months. We spent so much time together and I really know you, your needs are intuitive to me and I met them so easily mostly without even thinking about it. I love these days we are having right NOW.

You love your Daddy and watching your relationship develop is my favorite thing to see. He is an incredible man and an even better father which I want you to always remember.

You also love your Grandpa, Grandma, Christian, Papa, and Gimi. You have your own special bonds and inside jokes with each of them and it is so sweet for us to see. You make them glow when you are around and they agree on how special and incredible you are.

You've started to spontaneously say " I love you Mama" or ask for hugs and kisses which turns me to mush every.single.time. Even though I know love is not a concept you can fully understand at this point, there is nothing better than hearing this from you and I know you see how happy it makes me.

Someday when God blesses you with children of your own you will understand just how intense and deep my love goes. It is literally a do anything, say anything, lay down your life kind of love that cannot be fully articulated.  Know I will always be here for you no matter what you do or what you say, you will NEVER be able to make me stop loving you. Sometimes you might do things that make me angry or disappoint me but that's only because I see your incredible potential and the amazing man you have the opportunity to be. When you encounter pain, I will too, when your heart breaks mine will too. When there are hardships I will want to fix everything for you but I know it's better for me to be coaching from the wings so you build the confidence to do these things yourself. Eventually I will need to let go completely and you won't need my constant guidance. I don't know when that will be but the day is coming and when it does I will be there wholeheartedly cheering on my beautiful boy. 

Being "here" for you sometimes might look different than what you want it to but know that my actions towards you and for you are always done with only the very best of intentions. I will make mistakes and at times misjudge what you need from me but my actions or always based on love and the best of intentions. I hope that even when I do things to make you angry or disappoint you can always remember I am trying my very best to be who and what you need.  

Although you have only been a part of me for 2 years + 9 months I will continue to feel this way in every single moment I spend with or without you. I can only imagine the emotions i will experience as you leave our home to start your own adult life. I'll miss the constant time we get to share together and my heart will ache not seeing you each morning but I know this is the way of life and that raising you up in the way you should go and watching you go on your own is exactly what I need to do for you. Parenting is extremely tough in that way, just when i want to hold you closer and keep you with me is when I need to let you go and be your own person with your own life.

Love you always, 

Mama

Dear Charlee: 12 Weeks With You...Written 8.24.15

Written 8.24.15...

 

Dear Charlee,

I got you laughing this week! I'll have to get it on video so you can see your adorable self. I was nuzzling little kisses on your cheek and neck switching from side to side and you thought it was hilarious. 

Last night you slept 12 hours from about 6:30 to 6:30.  I accidentally woke you up as I carried you up to bed and thought here goes nothing as I set you down wide awake on the bed. I scarfed my dinner and ran upstairs to check on you and there you were, sleeping peacefully in your standard touchdown pose. I tried to wake you for a dream feed but you were fast asleep and I was sure you would wake up around 4 or 5. I kept waking up thinking you would be ready to eat at any minute but there you were my little angel, still sleeping. 

This week we are up in Tahoe celebrating Aunt Ashley's wedding so your schedule is a little off but you are holding it together like a champ and the sweet angel that you are. 

Love,
Mama

Weekend Roundup 8.14.15

Photo credit

Heading off to a wedding in Hood River Oregon to celebrate a high school best friend as she marries the love of her life.  It will be the first time on a plane with 2 kids and we will be staying at a family friends for 6 days, pleeeeeeeease wish us luck! 

A few links I'll be perusing as we kill time traveling this weekend...

How to be polite

DIY beauty products to stop buying and start making

Coffees benefits(as if you need more of a reason)

Fruit shrubs for great drinks

Trader Joe's faves

Pregnancy Week 16 - 12.5.12

Written 12.5.12...

This is a busy week but first...

I ate meat?!?! At my dear friends shower a burger actually sounded good, I only ate about 1/3 of it because the soup I had first tasted so sweet I started to feel a little sick. It was also filling. I have been having mustard withdrawals so I'm sure that contributed to the desire for a burger. As always it was lovely to see the girls and run in to old friends, they did a gorgeous job decorating in an adorable nautical theme.

Only a little morning nausea at this point, I hope I am not one of the lucky 15% with nausea past week 16! At a minimum i would like to avoid it in Costa Rica so come on lucky week 17!

We are heading to Costa Rica this week for a vacation and I guess it technically counts as a baby moon. The Hubby and I are so excited to be on a beach and relax. This joint is all inclusive which we have not experienced so we'll see how that goes. I'm thinking it is the best way for a prego lady and her hub to vacation so she can eat all she wants and he can drink all he wants while feeling slightly less guilty about leaving said prego alone on the sober boat than if he was paying for each drink individually.  It is supposed to be absolutely gorgeous there and full of animals like monkeys, sloths, jaguars, and tapirs (kind of like mini elephants mixed with ant eaters, I need to see one!!)

We have another doctors appointment and blood test this week. Nothing too crazy, we meet the doctor (only seen NPs up to this point), ask some questions and hear our little baby boys heartbeat again. I don't really have any questions though, I guess I'll need to come up with some. Last time I told the doctor I didn't really have any questions and my doctor and husband looked at me like I was crazy. It's not my fault that Dr. Google already told me everything I need to know ;)

A few off the top of my head:

          1. What birth/newborn care classes would you recommend?
          2. Should we take a hospital tour?
          3. What type of teas are okay / not okay to drink
          4. Do you recommend any baby books we should read or any reliable websites?
          5. Do you have any recommendations for a pediatrician?

Cravings: Toast (weird), Rice Chex (love/hate relationship right now)

Aversions: Meat ( I know I had some but that's probably all for a while), Rice Chex (love/hate relationship right now)

Weight:   126.8lbs, gain of 3.2 lbs

Pregnancy Week 31 - Written 3.18.13

(This is actually a photo of 30 weeks but who's counting??)

It's been a while since a pregnancy update, these past few months have been busy with work and planning baby things. My sister in law got married a couple weeks ago and the first few months of the year are always so busy for us since about 20 friends we know have birthdays during this time period.

Feeling: lots of pressure in ma belly, faint feeling, serious exhaustion, walking to the train is exhausting me (it's just a simple couple block walk carrying my laptop bag and lunch bag) and makes me feel like I weigh an extra 50 lbs. Thankfully I don't need to go in to the office everyday. 

I am still measuring ahead at 32 weeks.

Cravings: nothing really but I am eating finger foods or quick things, avocado, salty things, TJs "healthy" hotdogs (sick but I think I like the salt). I am forcing myself to eat lots of protein, lemon water with honey, butter lettuce, mango.

Aversions: PB, unhealthy food i.e. pizza, burgers, fries

Rings still fit, no swelling of ankles but legs are becoming less defined more like trunks :(

Still no one giving up a train seat for me since I barely look pregnant!  One guy did let me go ahead of him to get a seat but I'm pretty sure that's because I look like a lady. 

We had the hospital tour and I started to get nervous about the birth for some reason, maybe it's not nervousness but more of an overwhelming emotion I don't quite know how to process it yet.  No idea, hopefully I'll be able to pinpoint it as his arrival gets closer.

This week we need to spend more time on the relaxation techniques, to get more comfortable for the birth. I was really good about in the first and early second trimester and then it kind of fell away. 

Even though I hear most first babies are late,even induced! I want to be prepared 3 weeks early for piece of mind and just in case. 

I am going to miss the baby kicks and feeling of being pregnant but I'm sure it is nothing like the joy of having your baby. It's so emotional I can hardly even think about it but at some point I will need to. Maybe that is what is starting to make me nervous about the labor process...who knows...

Weight gain is ~22 lbs

Dear Charlee: 8 Weeks with You

Dear Charlee, 

Your eighth week began with a growth spurt or a Wonder Week or I don't really know what but I do know you sure did not want to be put down.  Your regular schedule of two 3-4 hour crib naps went out the window and for two days I held you basically 100% of the time. From about 5am-10pm you were by my side, nursing, sleeping, or awake and "playing" with my hands (so sweet, I don't ever want to forget that). This time was a reminder to continue to give in to the needs of the day letting the rest of the world pass by and just enjoy my "free" time with you.

On the third day of this I strapped you in to the k'tan because the house was looking pretty shabby and I needed to eat some real food and make sure the boys had clean clothes. Despite this bit of time I had to tidy and clean the house, the house is a disaster but that's ok. I wouldn't change it because we had some incredible bonding time and I know you better now.  

I can tell that you are "waking up" a bit more. You are noticing everything, sometimes I can't figure out what is so interesting but generally anything moving, shadows or lights and your brother catch your attention. You are really starting to connect with Mason and like to watch what he is doing. He is enjoying holding your hand and always tries to include you in his activities, he really seems taken by you and it is so sweet.  He is also taking his big brother responsibilities seriously and still vehemently dislikes when anyone besides Mama or Daddy holds you.

Thankfully you are still sleeping your solid 8 hours at night. Can't wait to see what next week brings!

Love, 
Mama

Dear Charlee - 10 Days with You

Dear Charlee,

You are so sleepy and make an adorable scrunch face when you poop. It's amazing how much we already love you little girl. 

You are sleeping 2 long naps a day anywhere from 2-4 hours at about 9 and 1. Then you are in and out the rest of the day. At night you sleep from 8 or 9pm to 4 or 5am. This is a pretty easy schedule I would be thrilled to keep for a while. 

Everyone says what a perfect (easy) second child you are but I'm scared to think this because I know shortly you will probably "wake up" and not be this easygoing. Or maybe you'll just give me a run for my money in your teenage years which based on my own sass filled high school tenure I am beyond terrified.  I'll love you anyway though :)

Love,
Mama

Weekend Roundup 8.7.15

Isn't this just the definition of summertime? I love the baby and the dog have almost the same expression.  Here's to a weekend that looks something like this.  Hoping for a couple lazy days before a few weekends of travel later this month...

Seven exercises to undo the damage of sitting

Bulletproof Coffee, scam or awesome?

Emoji needs change by age 30

What toddlers can get away with

What it looks like to eat your daily recommendation of fruits and veggies

What your name would be if born today, mine is Sadie and Hubs is Joseph but when going by the shorter version of his name, Arturo is his today name. Oddly enough Arturo is the nickname he has for his dad. 

Have a fabulous weekend!

Dear Mason - 26 Months

Dear Mason,

It's been two months since your sister joined our family.  You are still my sweet angel and my heart explodes watching you be such an incredible big brother. The way you care about your sister, how you always want to hold her, help me change her diaper, how you jump up "Oh! Charlie's crying!" and run off to find out what's wrong makes me so proud of you. If she's upset in the car you sing to her, it's usually Old McDonald but you are also starting to like Hush Little Baby and Rockabye Baby being sung to both of you so I think you might sing that soon too.  

I know some families do not experience such a positive transition when a new baby joins the family and I can't help but burst with pride when I see how wonderful you are with her.  It makes me feel like Daddy and I are doing something right in how we are choosing to raise you but honestly I think this mostly comes from who you innately are. We talked about this transition quite a bit before it happened but you make it seem mostly effortless. 

This big brother thing is not only teaching you to be sweet with your sister and babies in general but to be kind and gentle with others as well. You have started to randomly ask whether I "need anyfing" and if you can "help me with anyfing".  You now love to engage younger kids in your games and take care of them in the best way a two year old can. We are even starting to get comments about how great you are with babies and little ones like yourself. Someone told me this past weekend "he is just so kind to other kids" and I couldn't hide my beaming smile. 

When you play by yourself you are making sure your animals are well fed and you put them down for naps and bedtime. You also request Daddy and I use quiet voices so we don't wake your buddies, "they need to sleep Mama". You make us pretend coffee and bacon and "fix" our bed with your tools. 

My favorite thing was when you told me "one day I'm going to build you a big house Mama and you can live in it. Daddy can live there too"

And then...you act out a bit and I have to remind myself that two months ago your world changed forever. 

It hasn't been all roses and rainbows and I know you will have an ever changing relationship with your sister but you have more than surpassed our catiously optimistic thoughts for our future family dynamic. 

A few days ago I became frustrated with you and you could feel it. Daddy had been extremely busy with work and was at his second evening event of the week, thus I was juggling you two on my own for the previous few days. It was dinner time and you were doing the standard 2

year old whining and tantrum thing, you wanted me to hold you and play with you but between your hungry/crying sister and trying to get you some decent food I physically could not give you the attention you were seeking. Although you need to know that I desperately wanted to. During our bedtime chat I apologised for being frustrated and explained getting used to our dinner routine with two kids is sometimes hard for me, especially when you both need something at the same time. I asked if you could feel I was frustrated. You replied yes, then I took a breath and I asked if it makes you sad preparing myself for a stinging answer.  You shook your head no and said "I'm okay mama...I'm happy" that BLEW.ME.AWAY. How mature you are to take this in stride. You understood my frustration in that moment during dinner did not apply to our whole relationship. Just because I was upset an hour before, (not even really at you because well, you're 2) didn't mean those feelings carry over to always. It made me wonder more about the depth of your understanding of people which already seems well beyond your years.

Outwardly you seem fine with this transition. Although in various exchanges like the above I can tell you are inwardly processing and probably struggling with some big emotions not only about being a toddler but being a big brother, something you never asked for. 

I also saw that while you said you were "ok" and "happy" you do have some other underlying feelings you aren't expressing. It seemed like maybe you knew the "right" answer in the situation and chose the words you did almost to protect me.  My son, my sweet first born, is already trying to take care of his Mama. 

I ask you often how it's going being a big brother and again outwardly you tell me "it's good!"  "I like it" "I love my sister mama" and I try to not take that at face value because as your mama I know. I see there is more to it. I try to respond neutrally like "Alright but it's ok if you don't always feel that way or if sometimes you are sad about it."

I'm seeing a lot of "boy" personality traits in you, especially when it comes to being emotionally strong, being a rock. You have a double dose of that from both your Dad and I. You can talk about your feelings just fine but they don't seem to shake you. I hope this chacteristic turns in to you being able to process the tough emotions that come with life, moving them aside and pushing forward while finding the positive in everything. 

Just in case you didn't already know, I could not be more thankful for you. 

Love, 

Mama

Dear Charlee: 7 Weeks with You

Dear Charlee,

You are still so easy going, I'm not sure how I was so blessed. You fit right in and are a dream second child, particularly when your brother is going and going all the time. 

You are smiling up a storm and cooing all the time, it's absolutely adorable and I can't wait for more of it. Sometimes it almost sounds like you are talking back to us, you use the same amount of syllables and level of inflection. Your eyes are starting to be expressive and fairly clear with what you want. 

We had quite the busy weekend bouncing from place to place and spending time with friends and family. By Sunday afternoon I could tell it was a little much and you were ready for some quite time.  You are very sweet and don't seem to fuss over much of anything but when you've had too much of something you are over it and want to retreat to a quiet, dimly lit place. Typically we sit on the couch or my bed and you eat/sleep while I take care of some emails or to-dos on my phone. Daddy and I will have to work to keep this in mind to make sure you get the space and quiet time you need.  We are typically always going in this family but as I get older I am happier to say no to some things and appreciate quiet and alone time with family more and more.

Love,
Mama

P.S. This is the week you started blowing bubbles  

Weekend Rituals

What do you do on your days off? Our Saturday morning always consists of a few particular things:

Morning songs and dance parties or just laying leisurely and soaking in the music. 

Breakfast with toast or a BOFFO Cart breakfast sandwich which is basically happiness and all good things ever created wrapped up in to a sandwich. 

Farmers market coffee (Zolo is our absolute favorite), a walk for Bentley then off to something active for our rambunctious little guy. 

Then home for lunch, nap time and quick chores. Our to-dos are taken care of Saturday so Sunday is more easygoing. My goal is for meal prep to happen Saturday as well. Lately the Saturday nap time has turned in to everyone nap time because we are exhausted by 4 if we don't sit down and rest our eyes. It is tough but I keep trying to remind myself happy/healthy mom > laundry piles and dirty floors. I really miss the 2 naps a day schedule right now!

Sundays are for church and family. I have a strict I need to be home by 1pm or I will get anxious rule, 3pm is my absolute cut-off or queue the Sunday night anxiety, does that ever stop by the way? I applaud you guys that can actually be social on a Sunday afternoon/evening, I feel there is too much to catch-up on or that I need the time on my own to mentally plan and prepare for the week. Even for something like the Superbowl I hate to leave my house or have the number of people over where I need to prepare food. I love having friends in our house and having a revolving door of visitors but not after 3 on Sunday, then I want you to kindly see yourself out. Unless you are playing with my kid so I can cook or helping me cook, in that case I'll extend the curfew to 5pm, I love you but please go home :) no as in right NOW :)

Happy 30th Husband!

Happy 30th Birthday weekend to my one and only, thank you for choosing to share life with me and the kids. We hope you enjoyed your baseball themed party, chosen specifically for you because as far as we're concerned you knock it out of the park everyday for our family (cheeezzballll, please still be my friend).

P.S. Go Giants!

30 balloons + 1 fish because you are going to Alaska!! 

Cake time!!

Do Your Children get Nervous?

Our two year old is always surprising us with how well he can articulate and express his feelings.  He regularly tells us he's happy, sad, mad, frustrated and nervous. This is hugely helpful and we rarely have temper tantrums but it is challenging to address those feelings. I have yet to come across a resource which can tell me what to do when my 25 month old tells me to go away because he is mad at me. I am a fan of Janet Lansbury's website and think she offers some great advice but there isn't much of anything on there or anywhere else sharing guidance on this topic.  I am flying blind here and probably making rookie mistakes so if you have something that works for you, or a psychology degree, or a brain that's functioning better than my tired one is please share!

One example, heading to a party last night LB told us he didn't want to go and was acting truly upset, not just the standard toddler pout used to get a reaction. We asked why and he didn't elaborate at first but after a few minutes LB told us he was nervous about the people. We talked through the people who would be there, how he knew them, when he saw them last and he seemed a little better but further pinpointed what was bothering him when he said "I don't want to give hugs and kisses". This is something he was always happy to do on his own without our encouragement (it seemed) and it's just the cutest so we started to encourage him and tell him each time we say hi and bye to give hugs and kisses (just as we do).  Now I'm realizing we pressured our little guy to do things he wasn't always comfortable with. He is generally jovial and friendly (almost overly), he doesn't often act shy and is the first to give hugs to a new playmate so my Husband and I were caught off guard when he articulated this. It was the complete opposite of what he showed outwardly.

Thinking more about his declaration we realized we pressure him to do this ALL.THE.TIME, say "hi", say "bye", "give good-bye hugs" (to everyone at the party).  Here we were thinking we were teaching him to be social and friendly, (following in our footsteps) but from his perspective clearly it seems overwhelming, which duh! Especially being a toddler learning to assert his independence. GREAT JOB ROOKIES :(

Working through this in the car we suggested he didn't have to give hugs or kisses unless he wanted to and could simply watch how we act in a social situation. We did however request he say hi to the people who say hi to him or when we ask him to because I think that is part of having good manners. We also suggested he could shake hands because he's already a pro and if we are introducing him to someone it's important to me that he learns early on about proper greetings.

LB ended up completely warming up to everyone (as usual) and realizing basically everyone there was a close friend of ours he knew quite well. I think he gave everyone he knew a hug and/or kiss goodbye on his own without prompting. So maybe he was uncomfortable not knowing what to expect at the party, maybe he doesn't like being forced in to hugs and kisses, or maybe he was just testing what would happen if he chose not to. Who knows but this definitely taught us more about our son and the strong feelings he is working to process as we take him with us to do our seemingly run-of-the-mill activities.

Have you had any of these odd or surprising moments with your kids? How did you handle them? Any enlightening conversations where you realized just how darn smart or grown up your little (but not so little) baby is?